fucking idiot

I saw this "street art" today while walking home.

I have been sick for awhile, I lost my voice and got a little flu.

My mood is low in every way. For the first time I really feel lonely. 

Like I have said before, I don't have that many friends here, and mostly those "friends" are more like people I say hi to. I don't feel like they understand me or I understand them. We are just so different so many ways. Or I just have different opinion what is a friend. To me friend is someone who hugs you when you feel down, asks you how are you, accept you the way you are, laugh with you, is nice to you and someone who is real to you and don't pretend.

Right now I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about my feelings etc.

I know that I have known these people only for 9 months but I just don't feel connected with them. Maybe there is something wrong with me, maybe it is my age.

I just feel miserable.

One week more and this year is over, will see what happens after that. 

xxx LolaMirjam

Samui

Maybe next year again.

xxx LolaMirjam

Made Of Paper

I did a shoot at university. I also made these necklaces.

"Made of paper"

"Jewelry has the power to be this one little thing that can make you feel unique."

xxx LolaMirjam

How much you loved

"In the end, only three things matter:

how much you loved,

how gently you lived,

and

how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."

My new tattoo, I took in Samui.

xxx LolaMirjam

thoughts

"Sometimes 

I just think fuck it,

you'll never want me."

"I'm afraid to lose you

and you're not even mine."

xxx LolaMirjam

I´m a loner but not lonely.

"I´m a loner but not lonely."

But I prefer having real friends than fake ones.

Most of the time I'm all by myself because I don't have that many friends here but I'm also that kind of person that for me it is okay to be alone. I enjoy being alone, I don't have problem with that. 

But of course I miss the time with my friends back home. They know me and appreciate who I am.

Why it is so difficult to make friends here in England?

xxx LolaMirjam

we have a problem.

Girls, we have a problem.

Why?

I have heard too often how girls comment negatively on how someone look, wear, etc. Even to their own friends.

"Ugly shirt", "you should look at the mirror", "you are too fat for those shorts", "her/his skin is so bad", "Her eyebrows look awful."

Even jokes can hurt, you never know how confident this person really is, your jokes and words can hurt deeply.

Why it is so freaking hard to say something positive, do you lose something by saying so?

Are you helping someone if you say something negative about how she/he looks or what she/he is wearing?

Are you helping yourself by saying those negative things about other girls/boys? 

Do you feel satisfied by saying negative things about others?

Does that make you happy, does that make the other girl/boy  happy?

What is the purpose of saying negative things about other people´s look?

I just don't get it, think about it...

You can keep that negativity for yourself, that other person doesn't need it.

Nobody is perfect and everyone knows that, so we don't need those negative words to remind that nobody is perfect, vice versa.

We all know that social media, magazines and environment creates pressure on women already, how they should look and what to wear. Why you need to be part of the reason that women feel insecure? 

Just saying...

So, from now on I wish that everyone who reads this, even men, remember to say even one compliment everyday to someone. 

Trust me, you are going to bring a big smile to her/his face,you can even save her/his day!

It can be something small like, "I like your shoes", "you have beautiful red hair", "I like your lip color", "that shirt looks great on you", small things.
And next time when you are commenting on something negative, ask yourself how would you feel if someone says that to you?

Try, everyday one compliment or is it too much to ask?

xxx LolaMirjam